Last week I facilitated a senior leadership retreat in a beautiful wooded setting — calm, quiet, almost peaceful in a way conference rooms rarely are.
There were only ten of us.
The tables were set in a U-shape so everyone could see each other. It felt intimate. Focused. Intentional.
And from the moment he walked into the room, you could feel it.
There was one leader whose energy just beamed.
Not loud in an overwhelming way.
Not attention-seeking.
Just vibrant.
Warm.
Alive.
You could tell his coworkers loved him. He listened. He laughed easily. He responded with genuine interest. His presence felt open.
At one point, he stood up and said in his upbeat voice, “I’m not leaving — just stepping out to get more coffee.”
When he walked out, someone jokingly said, “Oh, there goes our sunshine.”
And here’s what struck me:
When he walked out, the energy in the room dipped.
Not dramatically.
But perceptibly.
You could feel it.
And when he came back in, the room lifted again.
It was palpable.
Here’s the crazy part:
I’ve probably said in my keynote a thousand times, “Some people walk into your office and light it up… and some people walk out of your office and it lights up.”
It always gets a big laugh.
But I had never actually witnessed that dynamic so physically, so clearly, in real time.
And it was astonishing.
Energy Is Contagious
There’s real science behind what I witnessed.
Psychologists call it emotional contagion — the phenomenon where people subconsciously “catch” the emotions and energy of others.
Your nervous system reads the room constantly.
When someone walks in calm, confident, and positive, it regulates the group.
When someone walks in tense, irritated, or disengaged, it deregulates the group.
Energy is not neutral.
It moves.
It transfers.
It amplifies.
And over time, that shared energy becomes the emotional climate that determines whether a team feels happy or strained.
And most of us underestimate how much our energy matters.
Especially if we’re in leadership roles — formal or informal — because tone travels fastest from the person others are watching.
Leaders don’t just influence performance. They influence collective happiness.
Loving Life Is Visible
What made that leader feel like sunshine wasn’t just positivity.
It was congruence.
He loved his work.
He liked himself.
He seemed genuinely glad to be there.
And that combination is powerful.
You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to elevate it.
You don’t have to be extroverted.
You don’t have to perform.
But you do have to be aware.
Because when you show up depleted, resentful, or checked out, that transfers too.
One Small Shift for Tomorrow
Before you walk into your next meeting…
Or your home at the end of the day…
Or into a conversation that matters…
Pause for ten seconds.
Just ten.
Ask yourself:
“What am I bringing into this room?”
Not what are you doing.
Not what’s on your agenda.
What energy are you carrying?
If it’s frustration — can you soften it slightly?
If it’s stress — can you steady it?
If it’s joy — can you amplify it?
You don’t have to fake positivity.
But you can choose presence.
Because the energy you bring into a room might be shaping more than you realize.
It may be shaping how safe, steady, and happy that room feels.
Author Bio
Kim Hodous, CSP®, is a keynote speaker who helps associations and organizations build happier, healthier work cultures through practical habits rooted in research. Known for her thoughtful customization, high-energy delivery, and engaging storytelling, Kim blends energy, habits, and connection to help teams increase engagement, reduce burnout, and drive better results.
Planning a conference? Learn more about bringing Kim to your next event.